For the World Is Hollow
by Starsearcher
Summary: Malcolm's POV in reference to a monumentous decision


Title: For the World is Hollow

Author: Starsearcher  
E-Mail: Starsearcher519@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Category: Angst, romance

Codes: R/S  
Summary: Malcolm's POV  
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all. I own nothing, not even the clothes on my back. Don't sue me! (unless you want my lint collection, which is rather extensive by the way, and quite the find really...I'd be willing to trade for, oh say, 10 bars of gold? No? All right, I'll be generous, 5? But really...I digress....on with the fanfic!)

*author's note: the phrasing at the end is partially mine, partially taken from the title of a TOS episode.*

...

I didn't realize how a few words could be so powerful. Not until that day when they told me I had to pick the very last ones, the ones that would be engraved into stone, the ones that would mark a lifetime.

__

Rest in peace.

It just doesn't seem right. You're not resting...not sleeping...although I'll admit a part of me still thinks you are. You still look as beautiful as the day we met. You don't even seem that affected by the cold, by the passage of time.

But you're not resting. To say that would be to say that you could awake again, that you'd come out of this rest. That you'd be breathing, laughing, living with a refreshed sense of being again.

But that's just not true.

And in peace? 

Is it really peaceful? The end didn't come that way, no matter how much I wish it could have. I wish it never happened. I had seen death, I had seen pain. But I still can't shake the sight of you in pain, love. It still haunts me. That look you gave me, the pleading look to make it all go away. And God how I wanted to.

But I couldn't.

Rest in peace...that just doesn't work. 

__

Here lies a beloved daughter, friend, and wife.

It's not right.

You were more than that. More than just the blood ties of family and friendship. You were our star, our inspiration, our hope. You gave me laughter, you brought me back from the depths of the darkness that haunted me all my life. You brought me back from anger, from hate, from vengeance, from fear. 

You were more than just a wife. You were my soul mate. But even those words don't seem enough. Damn it. How the hell am I supposed to decide this?

__

In Memoriam

In memory...in memory of your life. 

But that's worthless. I don't want to live with just the bloody memories. I'll be damned before I let you fade away like that. I'll be damned before I let you become just a memory in my mind.

Because you were more. You still...are. The memories are there, but they aren't you. They don't show who you were. They don't show the heart and soul you had shared with me, with us all.

I don't want to live in memory.

Wait...wasn't there something you wanted me to say? I can't...I can't remember. You used to whisper it, used to write it in those diaries of yours.

What was that line?

Ah.

Perfect.

It suits you, sweetheart. It suits this. I...I need to believe that you are in a better place, even if it's away from me. Because that would just be selfish, wouldn't it, love? Wishing you were still here? You always told me that, told me that sometimes, I had to let go of things. I never knew you were talking about this. 

Yes, this is perfect. As perfect as your last words could be. You did something extraordinary with your life, Hoshi. You chased the farthest stars, and now you're chasing them farther. You're up there now...up among the lights in the heavens...up so far, away from the cruelty and pain of this world. 

I won't cry anymore, Hoshi. No more. Because my love, I know that you've moved on, and I know somehow that you'd want me to do the same. 

I love you.

***

"Goodbye, Hoshi," Malcolm Reed whispered softly to the wind, placing the single red rose upon the white marble. He ran a finger across the beautifully carved engraving, his lips curling in a small smile. He looked up at the darkened sky, the deep blue lit up by several twinkling stars, all of whom seemed to be smiling back at him. He turned away, still smiling faintly, his eyes shining as brightly as the stars with his unshed tears.

Standing alone beneath a tall willow tree, whose branches blew gently about in the wind, a small white tombstone lay illuminated by the light of the stars.

Hoshi Sato

2127-2155

"Weep no more for me, love

Let no more voices cry.

For the world is hollow

And I have touched the sky."  



End file.
